he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
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Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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