I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
