She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
