How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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