it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
