How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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