i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
