My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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