do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
