Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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