Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
