I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
