why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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