There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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