I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
