Your tits are I can't wait for
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
