remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
