this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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