it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
