is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
