On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
