Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
