Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
