Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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