what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she told me i tasted like america
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
