Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
