he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
