I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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