well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
