this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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