I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
