I heard we made out
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
