i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
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