Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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