so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
