tell your sister to shave her snatch
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
