why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Randomize
