yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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