i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
