It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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