Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
