Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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