You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
