would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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