He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
