i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
