i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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