Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
