rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Are we still banned from the library?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
