I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
