I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Is this like a preordered booty call?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
