I must be too annoying 4 u.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
