I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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