I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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