I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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