Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
