No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
