Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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