I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
