i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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