I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
