do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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