I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
