We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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