i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
