i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
