Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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